Module 4 - How to learn more about active listening (in practice!)


In this module I am giving you the outline of the forthcoming Active Listening Training online course.

This will be my first online course and I am very thrilled about it.

I am ever so keen to share my professional experience in dealing with emotional suffering with as many people as possible.

In this course I have condensed a great part of my life's work with individuals who had been caught in the web of misunderstanding in their family relationships.

But first things first. Let me tell you the 'why' of a life in bloom (all year round).

I truly believe everyone is entitled to a life of opportunities, filled with a sense of purpose.  And for that I want to make sure that difficult family relationships are sorted out.

Because no matter what life throws at us we all have the ability to blossom, regardless of our age and background.

Blossom like a little leaf making the most of the warmth of the sun in spring.

As Sean Dagan Wood writes in Switch the light on

"...there is nothing quite like the resilience of the human heart.
Sometimes it lies dormant, but is always poised for awakening."

So, it’s better to sort things out before it's too late!

We can’t rewind our past but we can revise, adapt and act on the here now.

The Active Transformation Blueprint​

The Active Transformation Blueprint has been designed to deal with the 3 active elements of human interaction:

Listening | Communicating | Relating

Whatever way we look at it there is an active element revolving around those actions

(try it: read each word in whatever order you choose to find out that they are interconnected).

By looking a little deeper inside the active element connecting those 3 words I’ve found

- the I (for You) in the Act[I]ve word -

the essence of human interaction is You

Meaning, our lives are made of our own selves, our essential being or innermost feelings making you and I who we are.

The trouble with parent child relationships is when the self is shaken by life events leading to unstable emotional bonds.

As we all developed coping mechanism when faced with significant emotional events, they have shaped the relationship we have with our parents and the story of our lives.

The problem with coping mechanisms is that they can let us down when we are under pressure. At the times we say or do something that we may regret to this day.

In family interaction when people are faced with the unexpected, depending on the strengthen of their family bonds, ties can be broken leading to even more confrontation.

But it hasn’t to be that way. Because we all have the opportunity to start listening to one another in a different way. So as to gain new insights just by listening and asking questions to make sure we understood what has been said.

Module 1 - How to improve your listening and your life

For Heidegger (Philosopher) active listening is an intimated process displaying the desire to get to know one another.

​What I have found by working with people was that the others came first and their own needs and wants were almost forgotten. So the question is what do you really want and how do you accommodate your parents needs around your life.

Exercise: In this module you will learn how to listen to yourself, away from your inner critical voice.

Outcome: You will be more assertive knowing the words to avoid and the words to use when interacting with others.

Module 2 - The myth of incompatibility card at the listening table

Incompatibility leads to false assumptions. It is often the case when relationships are difficult the incompatibility card flashes out. When that happens, we tend to respond with rigid opinions of right and wrong, good and bad, like or dislike. This in turn undermines our ability to really listen because we stand our ground and stop listening.

​Exercise: In this module you will learn to value your uniqueness with enough flexibility to adapt and reconcile your differences with you parents.

Outcome: ​You will gain flexibility on your way of thinking and become more understanding without undermining yourself.

Module 3 - The amazing power of dialogue

For David Bohm (Scientist) more than ever there is the need for deeper listening and more open communication and dialogue is central to it. For him, it all starts with us individuals and the way we interact with one another.

Exercise: In this module you will learn how to initiate a dialogue by finding a common ground of interests and move away from the usual parent-child monologue! As Jeff Daly (Architect) says: “Two monologues do not make a dialogue.” 

Outcome: You'll benefit from a nicer flow of communication and meaningful interactions. 

Module 4 - Listening and mindfulness together

Mindfulness is very much about listening to your own body and emotions in a very compassionate way.

As Daniel Goleman (the leader in the field of emotional intelligence) points out the important role mindfulness plays on self-awareness, which is "our ability to monitor our inner world – our thoughts and feelings."

Exercise: In this module you will learn simple mindfulness exercises to be aware of what you feel and think.

Outcome: You'll will be more in control of your emotions and how do you deal with them.  

The forthcoming Active Transformation Blueprint is on its way and I am looking forward sharing it with you soon.

Add your comments

Ask me!

Let me know how can I help you to improve your relationship with your parents.

Tell me what is bothering you at the moment: I am ready to listen to you. You can either write below or email me.